10 Ways to Enjoy Strawberry Flavour
by Tsuki-no-Kurokage
Summary: 10 tips by Matsumoto Rangiku on how you can enjoy the strawberry flavour. An IchiHitsu oneshot, full of crack. Enjoy.


**10 Ways to Enjoy Strawberry Flavour**

Author's Note: Howdy, folks! I'm pretty sure you're all wondering why the heck I'm writing a short little book on one simple matter: enjoying strawberry-flavoured things. Well, to begin with, strawberries are tasty little snacks, of which there are many ways to eat with. While I do understand that eating a strawberry's no big deal to most of you, it's a big deal to me, well, because…

I know a certain someone who is just so in love with strawberries but just doesn't want to admit it, so I'm writing this little sheet of tips on how you can enjoy your very own strawberry (and yes, this is dedicated to that certain someone!).

Disclaimer: It's just so sad…I do not own a single thing. Ah! But these tips are my very own, since I wrote them based on my knowledge of dating and many romances as well as from my own strawberry experience!!

_**Tip 1**__: Eat a strawberry when it is freshly picked from the strawberry garden. You never know, it tastes better than the ones you normally buy at something called a supermarket in the human world or the really super rare ones we can find in our very own Seireitei._

_**Tip 2**__: Strawberries are best grown in cold places, so if you want to grow and eat your own strawberries, be sure to find a cold place to grow them in, otherwise they won't grow well and they won't taste very good, you know. The best way would be to have a whole garden full of strawberries when someone in your division has an ice-type zanpakutou!_

_**Tip 3**__: If you don't have anyone in your division who has an ice-type zanpakutou, it's ok! You can just come to me and I'll grow them for you! -smiley face- Eh, but you must promise to give half of the share to my taichou, or else I won't ever offer any strawberry aid to you ever again._

_**Tip 4**__: How about eating strawberry cake? It's nice, sweet and just so adorable when you mash the strawberries up to make up anything you can as your cake topping! Like the other time, I bought a cake from the real world, and then I asked for a whole pack of strawberries. They messed all the strawberries up on top of the cake and poof, I had a cake with the kanji that I wanted! I'm gonna show it to the certain someone when he finishes reading this!_

_**Tip 5**__: Very very very easy thing to do, pick any strawberry you see, cut it open, remove the flesh, crush some ice and fill 'em inside, then sandwich the two pieces of strawberry together and eat. But you'll make taichou angry. Believe me, I tried, and he put a bakudou on me to prevent me from going out to have sake. So mean…_

_**Tip 6**__: Another way to make taichou angry would be to buy strawberry juice, pour it all over the human-made ice cube maker and let it freeze. After that, you can enjoy strawberry ice cubes. At the same time, you can keep some of the strawberry juice and add in the strawberry ice cubes. You'll have an all round cold strawberry drink, which is my recommendation! Of course, why would this make taichou angry? Because the ice will look all pink._

_**Tip 7**__: You know how some of the human medicine can taste like strawberries? If you don't know, do you want to have the chance to try? It is so simple I did it three times in a row. Make yourself sick. The easiest way is to get a cold. Then go to a nearby pharmacy and buy the fever medicine in liquid form. They taste just like strawberries. I fed some of the medicine to my taichou, and he liked it! Of course he didn't know it was medicine; I poured some of them in, mixed it with water and let him drink when he caught a fever – sometimes taichou works too hard and he gets himself sick without knowing it so I do this all the time. See? I am such a good fukutaichou!_

_**Tip 8**__: Strawberry ice-cream is SO delicious. Pour strawberry syrup all over your ice-cream – you can drown it for all I care, you'll just be indulging in sin – and then slice some pieces of strawberries and put them in. The best way to have a lasting experience with strawberry ice-cream would be to order for a large strawberry sundae. They have about three scoops of strawberry ice-cream and some slices of strawberries in between, plus strawberry syrup._

_**Tip 9**__: The Technology Bureau has come up with their new gikon pills. It may not be Chappy, but it is definitely the next generation of Chappy. The whole container will have strawberry prints on it, and the top of the container is a pink dragon. I'm not sure what will happen when you place a pill in a gigai; this __**is **__their latest creation. It was on my request and I pre-ordered one specially for the special certain someone I mentioned. _

_**Final Tip**__: Haven't you heard of Kurosaki Ichigo? If you like strawberries so much, go and chase after him. But of course, he's taken. By who, you ask? Isn't it obvious? I've been talking about him all this time during my tips! Ichigo-kun is worth the chasing; I mean, so many people are after him!_

_So my final words to everyone, enjoy your strawberries. But please don't spend all day chasing a strawberry that is alive and kicking._

_Specially written by_

_Number 10's 2__nd-in-command_

_E-n-j-o-y-Y-o-u-r-S-t-r-a-w-b-e-r-r-i-e-s_

"…"

Ichigo felt the lithe body tense beneath him, blinking as he backed away slightly; the temperature in the room fell below the deathly cold negative degrees, ice forming in all corners of the room and spreading over the four walls. When he first arrived at the 10th Division, he already knew that Toushirou was in a crabby mood – summer seemed to have gotten to him – and thought that some quality time alone together on the futon would do the trick. But, apparently, he brought the wrong reading material as Toushirou's bed time story, and he was certain that the line of ice was going to snap very soon.

"Matsumoto, I'm going to kill you…"

…He just wasn't prepared for it now.

* * *

_A/N: Oh yeah, this was random. And nicely short, because I intended for something short. It was inspired when I was thinking of eating strawberry ice-cream when I get better and I just got distracted from The One. This __**was **__to be honest, written at quite a fast pace. I started at three something and it's still three something, but I forgot the two somethings, so I have no idea how long I spent on this. But after this, I'll be getting back to The One (I haven't updated it for two months…)_

_Comments are welcome. Flames will be used to melt the strawberry ice-cream and I'll have to face the wrath of Zangetsu and Hyourinmaru on my own._


End file.
